Visiting Internet Chat Rooms on Eating Disorders

I am in recovery from bulimia and wanted to find out what Internet chat rooms for eating disorders were like. Chat rooms are live, interactive forums where people can gather online to discuss topics of mutual interest. In the sites I entered, there were usually anywhere from 5 to 50 screen names posted, with several mini-discussions going on at the same time.

Finding Chat Rooms

I started my search by going to the largest national eating disorders organizations, but I didn't find anything related to chat rooms. Then, I typed "eating disorders chats" in a search engine and received over 50,000 results! Only a few of the first 20 results—excluding the sponsored listings, which I ignored—were worthwhile leads. I was unable to load the site that seemed most promising (according its brief description), and the next leads I checked into were also dead ends. I eventually came to www.something-fishy.org, which seems like one of the best eating disorders recovery Internet sites around.

Something Fishy had a number of chat room options. There were a few 24-hour areas set aside for ongoing use by individuals in recovery, and other moderated chats were listed on a schedule. I happened to be browsing on a Wednesday evening while a regular monthly group was in session. A therapist from a well-known treatment facility was leading the discussion, once she solved some technical difficulties. About 50 "chatters" came and went with fairly basic comments, like "My mother wants me to be perfect," and "I'm afraid to tell anyone about my anorexia." The moderator had helpful things to say, but in bits and pieces, with a single sentence suggestion to this person or a quick question to another. During the time I was in the room, there were no focused discussions with everyone giving feedback about the same topic. I didn't find the information particularly meaningful or the sharing too deep, but I appreciated that there were so many people who were interested in recovering. In a way, their very presence was supportive.

Later, I visited one of the ongoing chats at Something Fishy, and a couple of conversations were going on there. One involved the description of a participant's tattoo, but the other was between women talking about whether or not to tell about their eating disorders. Again, the comments were brief and supportive but lacking in depth. They were also intermingled, so that one sentence would read, "I wish I had a boss like that," and the next was, "Who got a tattoo?" The woman who needed help to open up to her boss soon dropped that topic and moved on to another question, "Do you ever get numb, like you can't find your feelings?" The lack of continuity bothered me, but I think the participants must have felt some support, albeit with little follow through.

Scattered conversations

I had a similar experience at www.healthyplace.com, another search engine find. This is a commercial site, and I was immediately turned off by advertising, but I entered the chat room, anyway. It was not moderated—although every time someone entered the room, they were flashed a warning about not discussing weights, diets, or calories. There were 6 to 9 people there, with some coming and going. I was almost ready to give up on them because they were primarily into Canadian geography, but I stuck around when two women shared that they had anorexia. One was a 22-year-old and had been anorexic for 9 years; the other, who was 19, had only been severely restricting her eating for a year. The older woman started giving sound recovery advice to the younger one. She suggested confiding in someone and, just when they seemed to be getting into something real and meaningful, two others wrote back and forth about a rock star's tongue and then someone else said they wanted to commit murder. She was a schoolgirl who had confided in a friend about her eating disorder, and the other girl had told their teacher. However, her problems were dropped when another writer asked, "Would you pay $2000 to keep your vision if you knew you were going blind in two months?" The anorexia dialogue did not resume.

Why visit chat rooms?

My initial response to these visits was not particularly positive. For one thing, how do you know that people are who they say they are? When the Canada discussion was going on, I wondered if one person was trying to discover the other's location. Also, some of the things that the "helpful" woman in recovery was saying sounded so much like a therapist that I speculated she may have been someone pretending to be ill. Also, the conversations were fragmented and jumbled.

However, I do see some value in going to chat rooms. For one, they provide an antidote to boredom, bingeing, or obsessing about your problems. Chatting about rock stars and tattoos is healthier than obsessing about food or weight. In every "room," there seemed to be someone who was just starting to think about quitting their disorder; and, as someone who is a little further along in my own recovery, I do appreciate being able to give them a bit of encouragement. Next time, I won't expect much continuity or heavy conversation, but I will find some comfort from hanging out with other people who are also trying to cure themselves of an eating disorder.