The Four Areas of Healing

As an eating disorders therapist and recovered bulimic, I can sadly, yet confidently, say that food and weight obsession has reached epidemic proportions in our culture. I work with clients as young as six who are dieting, and I treat women and men well into their seventies who have been emotionally eating for most of their lives. What a tragedy, and at the same time, what a gift for me to share the tools and concepts I’ve needed to learn myself.

In my work I address four important areas of healing:

1) Physical

Learn to stop restricting and dieting.

If dieting worked, I assure you that most Americans would be thin by now. Additionally, if diets were effective, then the multibillion-dollar diet industry would be shrinking rather than growing. Dieting leads to overeating. It’s math and, believe me, I have done my research! I spent most of my life either starting some new fad diet or breaking my diet of choice and gaining back the weight I had lost, plus a rebate. (Not to mention the shame and self-hatred that accompanied each cycle.) Recovery means learning how to listen to your body and eat as nature intended.

2) Emotional

Natural feelings—like sadness, anger and fear—need to be safely expressed.

In our culture, we are taught that we are supposed to be happy all the time. (Remember "sugar and spice and everything nice?") This is neither natural nor possible. To stop "stuffing down" feelings with excess food and diets you will need to learn how to feel and deal with the emotions that you have been avoiding and "de-pressing." This takes finding the right people who are comfortable with emotions and can lead you out at your own pace. Finding a good, safe counselor and/or therapy group can be an excellent start. Eventually, you can become a safe person for yourself.

3) Spiritual

Find peace in the present moment.

So much of eating disorders are created out of an emptiness inside, a lack of connection to anything that is greater than the thoughts that go running around inside your head all day long. Some people find peace in music, others in nature. Some find it in prayer or meditation, others in reading spiritual books. There are many ways and everyone needs to find what fits for them.

4) Mental

Last, but certainly not least, deal with your thoughts. In our book, The Don’t Diet, Live-It Workbook, my co-author and I write that an "eating disorder could easily be called a thinking disorder." Many faulty rules and thoughts are behind food and weight fixation, only we don’t realize they are faulty until you ask someone you trust.

I used to think that certain foods would make me fat if I ate them, that I would gain weight if I ate past a certain time at night, or that crying was weak. I could go on and on, and my guess is that you could too. These thoughts were misconceptions that I was taught by others who did not know any better. I have learned (and so can you!) that we can change our minds and break our rules and still be safe—in fact, safer than living with a mind that sounds like a prison warden.

Endless Possibilities

It is possible to break free from the chains of food and weight obsession. It is possible to eat delicious, satisfying, moderate meals and not gain weight (unless you need to!). It is possible to safely express difficult emotions and feel a sense of relief and peace afterwards. It is possible to feel a sense of connectedness and live more and more in the present moment. It is possible to change some of your internal rules and still be safe in the world. It is possible to live a life that is not about your size or the amount of carbs in your day.

I wish this for you…