HEART TO HEART: Reframing Powerlessness

Step 1 of Overeaters Anonymous (OA) reads, "We admitted we were powerless over food, that our lives had become unmanageable." Many of the eating disordered clients I have worked with have had difficulty embracing the OA notion of "powerlessness," yet they relate to the concept on many levels. Most of them not only understand powerlessness, they live it—in their daily decisions involving food (how much to eat, what to eat, when to eat), in their interactions with others, in their family lives, careers—in virtually all areas of their lives. These people are accustomed to the daily struggle of being disempowered.

The value of this step becomes clearer when reframed as, We admitted we were powerless to make our eating disorder work successfully for us. From this perspective, admitting powerlessness does not imply becoming a victim, it means acknowledging limitation. The person in recovery does not surrender her power. She surrenders self-will. She gives up trying to manage and control her life on the basis of her eating disorder. She acknowledges that the eating disorder, in the long run, does not deliver on its promises, even though in the short run it may fulfill an extreme need, or be the only way she knows how to take care of herself. She can be empowered by the realization that I already know how to take care of myself, (i.e., by working a recovery program). Seen in this light, admitting powerlessness is really about giving up a narrow approach to self-care in favor of a richer approach that entails centering one's life around the practice of recovery principles on an ongoing basis.

As long as a person is convinced that her eating disorder is "working," she will not be willing to give it up. Since she is used to living on "crumbs," and doesn't believe she is worth much anyway, hitting bottom can be a formidable experience indeed. Only at that point will she be convinced that the recurring negative consequences of the eating disorder outweigh the perceived benefits and decide that she is worth enough to expect more out of life.

Helpful Affirmation:

Just for today, I will remember that admitting powerlessness means recognizing that my eating disorder doesn't work. I will remember that I am truly powerless only when I insist on centering my life around the eating disorder.