Believing in Yourself

When you begin your healing journey or embark on the path to recovery, it is often hard to believe in yourself and know that you can overcome any obstacle. But I can tell you that as time goes on and you focus more on getting healthier, overcoming whatever may stand in your way is possible, and believing in yourself does become easier.

During my recovery from eating disorders and depression, I was often plagued with self-doubt and questioned my ability to change what had become so familiar and a way of life. After numerous attempts, I finally reached a point where I was desperate. I realized I could not continue with my illness without doing irreparable damage to myself and to those who loved me. With the help of many friends—people I considered role models—and my regular psychiatrist, I slowly began to heal.

On my journey there have been many moments of total frustration, but there was also an inner voice telling me to keep going and that I could not give up. I strongly believe that this voice was what rescued me. Without it, I would not have been able to let go of my old mindset and see that life could be different and I could be healthy. Recovery is hard work and it is a process that requires daily attention. In finding out what keeps me going, I have learned to recognize how important it is to stay balanced as well as in touch with myself and how I am feeling.

The Medicine Wheel

In First Nations culture we are taught the teachings of the Medicine Wheel. The Medicine Wheel encompasses all living things and offers a holistic approach to life. Within the Medicine Wheel, there are four directions that focus on one's physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual aspects. Each direction is integral to the recovery journey and must be developed equally so that there is balance. If one aspect is not developed, how you relate to yourself and your environment will be affected.

This is what I am doing in my own life. Physically, I am taking better care of my body. I am trying to eat better and incorporate the foods I need to in order to stay healthy. I try to keep up a regular sleep schedule and have become more active by making a point of walking each day. Mentally, I pay attention to structure on a daily basis, by keeping myself busy and writing. I find that through my writing, I have been able to let out my pain, identify with others, and give myself a voice—one that I hope will help others not to feel so alone. I also read voraciously because my thirst for learning is something that I have always held as important. Emotionally, I am learning my own limitations and recognizing other people's limitations too. I have begun to branch out and make more friends and become more social than I have been in the past. Lastly, to take care of myself spiritually, I burn sage to help keep my thoughts clear and I write little prayers when I feel my day is not going smoothly.

Additionally, as part of my healing, I have learned to surround myself with people who can help me to see my inner potential and who encourage me to do my best. The most intensive work I do is talking on a regular basis with my therapist. I have begun to see that speaking with my therapist—who has a very compassionate manner—and focusing on my healing has helped me to express my inner pain, which makes me feel less alone. What's more, in one-on-one therapy and some group therapy, I have learned how to sit back and recognize my triggers, how to deal with them, and see things in a different light.

Believing in yourself is hard and you may have moments of self-doubt. But as you go over each hurdle that has blocked your path, the power of perseverance and faith can rise up and help you to become healthy once more. It is up to you.