HEART TO HEART:
A Journey to the Heart

We come into this world as tiny, trusting souls. But life is difficult and has a way of bruising us no matter how careful we are. We learn to protect ourselves—hide our feelings, avoid difficult situations, tiptoe through conflict, deny that we hurt, and find behaviors that can dull the pain. We reach for food. We skip eating. We get up in the middle of the night to fill the void with whatever’s in the refrigerator. We exercise until we can no longer think. We run, we starve, we binge, we cry. And we ask why—again and again and again.

Thankfully, our souls don’t quit. Our deepest inner selves want answers. They want things to be different. They want us to find a way to breathe again and move into the future. And the only way out is to stand up and take a step forward—to rebound and strengthen our wisdom, not just our protective layers.

When our skin is cut, blood rushes to the site carrying healing cells. A temporary “patch” is made to stop the bleeding and the area gets swollen and sore. This is the body’s way of protecting itself. Underneath, out of sight, the skin cells at the edge of the wound go to work rebuilding a new layer of skin. The hole is covered with fresh, healthy, and stronger skin. Can it be injured again? Certainly. If that happens, the body will repeat this protection and healing process.

Our spirits, too, have a healing process just like our bodies do, but instead of cell by cell, it is step by step. Insight by insight. Action by action. Day by day. We surround ourselves with protective people, places, and activities. We dare to open ourselves to the idea that healing is possible. We develop new strength by taking on some little thing each day. We smile at someone and they smile back. We move forward knowing that hurt may come again, but that it can’t keep us from becoming wiser beings.

This is no quick, simple, or easy process. It takes a courageous decision on our part that we don’t like where we are and we are willing to change. We have to sort through what is healing and what is damaging. What supports and what drains. What opens new possibilities and what closes them off. We may need to change lots of things--like where we work, who our friends are, when we see our family, who we keep close, how we get support, how we spend our free time, our spiritual beliefs and practices, our routine, how we eat, and how we comfort ourselves. If we are lucky, we have a good therapist, compassionate friends, and plenty of patience and determination. The reward is that each step of the journey is full of learning and fulfillment. It means accepting that we are a work in progress, and that the rest of our lives will be full of self-discovery.

The wisdom that grows in us helps us become people that can make a difference in the world. We can be kinder to others because we know how unkindness hurts. We can offer a hand in friendship through easy and hard times. We can be there to support one another in a time of loss. We can use our energy to do things that matter, not that just fill time. We can offer our talents to make things better in whatever ways we are pulled to help. And with each day our strength grows, filling the empty wound with knowledge that life gives us new skills and perspectives on our journeys.