Eating Disorders are Harmful— not Helpful

Q: My daughter has an eating disorder. Why is she so determined to harm herself?

A: It’s easy to think that your daughter is trying to harm herself when she does things like severely restrict her food intake, over-exercise, binge, or binge and purge. However, the reality is that the behaviors inherent to an eating disorder are fundamentally designed to psychologically help, not hurt, her. The fact that they can be physically damaging, even lethal, is a by-product of the behaviors, not the intent of the person suffering from the disorder.

Engaging in eating disorder behaviors produces a “zoned out” state of mind, one in which your daughter feels “distracted,“ “calm,” “numbed out,” and distanced from emotions she finds difficult to bear. Anything that was distressing or overwhelming her only moments before has somehow “disappeared” and she no longer is forced to face it.

Unfortunately she quickly becomes dependent upon these emotional benefits, and consequently relies on them more and more over time. Because they are so powerful, and her perceived need for them so compelling, her mind blocks from conscious awareness any information related to her health and its possible deterioration.

Treatment Goal

A goal of treatment, therefore, is to help your daughter see the reality of what the eating disorder behaviors can and cannot do. They are fully capable of destroying her body, even when the physical side effects are not obvious. They are a short-term way of numbing emotions. They do provide a goal of sorts and may provide her with feelings of confidence. However, they cannot assist her in managing her life in a mature, healthy way—despite how much she wishes they could and regardless of how well they may have seemed to work in the past. Eventually, she must develop safe and truly effective coping skills and cease relying on the illusion that the eating disorder behaviors are helping rather than harming.